Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize