What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
