i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize