OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
