just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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