i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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