these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
