Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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