I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
two words...techno handjob
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize