when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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