i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
