I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
