I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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