i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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