Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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