you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
