my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
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