This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
