You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize