Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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