Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
