some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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