remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Sponge bath it is.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize