yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I would ride that face into the sunset
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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