One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
