wrigley field is MILF paradise
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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