I cockslap morals
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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