I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Are we still banned from the library?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize