Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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