I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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