Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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