i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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