I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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