He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize