I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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