we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
