my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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