I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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