I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
