I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Is Oprah even human
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
