just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
