Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize