it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
