Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
