***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
