I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
