i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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