you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
