Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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