I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
