Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
