this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
