He uses pillows to masturbate.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Are my feet made of real feet?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Can I color on your dick again?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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