Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
