im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
