things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize