i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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