i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
