I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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