i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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