Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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