Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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